Pages

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Shout out

When was the last time that you complimented someone on their actions or behavior rather than their appearance?
When was the last time you received a genuine compliment of this kind? How did it make you feel?
Explore this with me for a moment. We make and receive compliments all the time, but how often are they meaningful? 

Nice hair!
Cute dress.
Love those boots!
You look great today.
Wow, you have beautiful eyes

These are nice to get. Nice to give. They are easy. And rather meaningless. Think about what they emphasize... Something we all bemoan about our society. It's emphasis on appearance.  A compliment on your footwear? Really just says something about the complimenter.... She likes the same boots you like. A compliment about eye color? Something we have no control over! 

But, a genuine compliment about an action or behavior.... That can have lasting impact. 

I am sitting here thinking of the times I've been genuinely complimented on an action or behavior. I remember some of them so vividly, even from years past. But the memories are scarce.
Here's one: nursing school. ACK! It's awful, friends. Avoid it if you can. It's 2-4 years of curriculum that makes you doubt yourself in every way. But I had a gem of an experience with one instructor and I recall an incident during clinical one day. We were calculating medication doses or IV drip rates or some such and she asked me what dose I should give.  I was, somehow, able to answer her right away. She stopped and put her hand on my arm and told me she was so impressed because though it was not a difficult calculation, the ability to figure it out on the fly, in a stressful real life situation isn't quickly gained by nursing students. I was the only one to accomplish it that day. Now, if you know my math skills, you'll be as surprised by this story as I was. But it had such an impact on my confidence level! And clearly, I remember it many years later. 

Why don't we do more of this? 

I'm am challenging myself to look for opportunities to compliment people on their actions and behaviors. There are plenty of times I could. Times, like this morning when I was on the phone with "Rick" the computer support guy at the hospital. He was kind, patient, helpful and efficient. He remembered me from prior calls and didn't make me feel stupid or inferior. I was impressed. I thanked him for his help but failed to fairly compliment him for what was an unusually pleasant tech support experience.  So, belatedly, here's a shout out to Rick. Dude, you did your job so well, and I know I caught you just as you were leaving for lunch, but I appreciate your patience and your efficiency. 

Think of a time when you've been genuinely complimented for your work, or for your kindness, or for a particular skill that you have worked hard to perfect. Think how that compliment left you with a glowing feeling that lasted all day. Think about how formative these types of interactions could be if we made a point to catch people at their very best and let them know we noticed. 
Imagine the implications at work, 
or with your kids or partner.

So, I'm going to try. And I'd love it if you would try along with me. Let's notice the good and call it out. 

Thank you for reading to the end of this post!  Not everyone does, and I really appreciate you!  Now, take a moment and leave a comment.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Caving in Maquoketa

October days draw you into the outdoors


Maquoketa Caves State Park
Add caption
It was an overcast Sunday. Rob was home, a rare weekend off, and we had R and A, our favorite co-adventurers.  We headed out with a picnic lunch to do some hiking and low-key spelunking at the Maquoketa Caves. I need a day in the woods every so often.  It recharges my spirit like nothing else can.  These views, large and small scale, help to calm my mind, to bring my attention into the present. 

The state park, located just north of Maquoketa, Iowa is replete with limestone bluffs, beautiful rock formations, hiking trails and a fascinating collection of caves. Admission to the park is free.  They have park rangers available to give you a brief orientation to the park and educate you about "White Nose Syndrome" a disease which is fatal to bats that inhabit the caves.  So far, this disease has not made its way to the Maquoketa caves.
Dancehall cave.

The kiddos were in rare posing form, so I took full advantage.



Caving + water....oooh, I see cave-diving in your future, Rob!
Note the spider.

Intense focus. I'll let him lead.

Anyone who is this happy in such a tight spot should be a professional.

This is how much he loves me....there were spiders in those caves!




We made our expedition the second weekend of October. The park is closed over the winter and will re-open in the spring.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Maine and Rhode Island: in pictures

Sweet little cabin in the woods. Southport.
Hiking near Boothbay Harbor, Maine.
K. Ocean Drive. Newport, R.I.
Pemaquid Point lighthouse beacon.
Waterfire 2014. Providence. R.I. 
Sibling love in Bristol. R.I.
Family photo! Waterfire. 
Family photo. Ocean Drive. Newport. 
Persimmon! Reid State Park, Maine.
Living statue. Waterfire.
R. Crabbing.
R. Posing. Ocean Drive. R.I.
Not a postcard! Pemaquid Point Lighthouse. Maine.
Must try the financiers! Portland, Maine.
Love family!

Daddy-daughter love. Bristol. R.I.
Daddy-daughter selfie!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

DIY Wedding

Simplify your Wedding Planning

Spend less - Have more Fun!

Do it Yourself!

Having just planned and pulled off my own, albeit small wedding in two weeks time, I thought I'd share some of the things I did, and learned that helped keep me focused, saved money and made our day, June 21st, the most perfect day ever. 

Choose your venue:  Do you need a church wedding?  I didn't.  This made it possible to schedule our big day on short notice.  If you do, or if you must have a highly sought after venue for your wedding or reception, you will need a year or more advance notice.  Planning a small outdoor wedding cuts that dramatically.  In our case, we didn't even rent a park pavilion.  We chose a spot on the river that had easy parking for our guests, a good backdrop for photos and was meaningful to us. 

Find an officiant:  Do you need a church wedding?  Are you ok with a trip to the courthouse? Do you have a friend who is ordained?  How about a family member or friend who'd be willing to get ordained?  We asked Rob's dad if he would do the honor of marrying us.  It took less than an hour to complete the application process online.  The Universal Life Church is recognized in most states and will ordain you for under $20.  Check with your state to be certain that a ceremony conducted by your chosen officiant will be valid.

Get Organized:  Two weeks is not much time. Make lists. Update them daily. Crosscheck them with your fiance. Crosscheck them with your best friend. I used GoogleKeep and absolutely fell IN LOVE with this free app.  It is my new fave organizational tool. 

Have someone to Vent to:  My someone was my best ever friend.  Though she lives far away and couldn't be hands-on with the help, I couldn't have done it without her.  She kept me focused and brought so many fun ideas into reality.  We talked on several occasions over the two weeks. 
Me and Kit


Consider your "Must Haves":  Are professional flowers important to you?  Music?  Embossed invitations?  A traditional gown?  A reception with all the trappings:  DJ, catered food, table decor? A professional and classic wedding cake?  Photos? 

We pared down our Must Have list to these things:  friends and family that are dear to us, clothing that paid homage to the specialness of the occasion without being too expensive, photos, a fun and relaxed reception, a cake that looked pretty and tasted fabulous.

We skipped the formal invites. Two weeks plan time leaves no room for snail mail or the time it takes to order invitations.  I used an online e-vite for more distant friends. Some will let you send up to 10 invitations for free to sample their service.  I printed a flyer that I hung at the office to invite coworkers to the reception, and phoned an invite to close friends and family.

I found a fun and inexpensive dress at a local boutique:  Urban Farmhouse in Geneseo for $47.  Zappos got my fabulous shoes to me overnight with free shipping.  Rob was thrilled that I chose jeans, cowboy boots and dress shirt/vest combination for him. 
See why they call it Ol' Muddy?
The day of the ceremony, my awesome hairdresser, Fran, artist extraordinaire and owner of the fabulous Your Suite Hair took this picture:
And made my hair look like this:

I didn't know my hair could do this!
 

We were able to fit a really fun engagement shoot into the two weeks leading up to the wedding.  Choose an up and coming photographer to get the best deal on a shoot.  Ask around until you find one who includes print rights and will give you a jump drive that you can take to any photo print shop and print your own.  Cassandra at Oh Snap Photography was so much fun to work with and made us look better than real life!




For the ceremony, we really didn't want a professional wedding photographer.  Just the words alone are expensive.  We asked around and found a friend with a sister, lol.  Shauna came to the house before the ceremony, snapped some fun "getting ready" shots, followed us down to the river, and then came back to the house to get some pictures of the reception.  She is an amateur photographer with a nice DSLR camera and she charged us an outrageously cheap price for the time that she spent. I haven't seen her pictures yet, but I already know she'll be getting a tip from this happy bride.

 
As I mentioned previously, I outsourced the cake in a similar fashion.  You don't know who you know until you start asking.  We found a friend of a friend who does cakes.  After a few days of texting back and forth we settled on a non-traditional cake.  I used a pretty three tiered cake stand that I already owned and she made three different cakes:  Traditional white with buttercream icing, Gluten free German chocolate and a flourless chocolate cake that is "to die for".  Find the recipe for La Bete Noir here.  I was so pleased with the finished product!



Food was a challenge.  And I love a challenge!  We spent the Friday evening before the reception roasting potatoes and vegetables and threading steak, shrimp and brat bites onto skewers.  I had Rob's family and the kids helping and we made short work of it.  I made tomato, pepperoni and mozzarella ball appetizers which looked adorable on little bamboo skewers.  The next day they would be drenched in a jarred pesto sauce.  They were a huge hit!  I made a chimichurri sauce and a rosemary, garlic dipping sauce the morning of the wedding and my daughter K, made an old classic appetizer, Zucchini Carpaccio.  I'll post recipes soon!  After the ceremony, we warmed up the potatoes and veggies, set the skewered meat out on ice, boiled the corn and fired up the grill!

For flowers, this is what I decided.  HyVee.  White daisies.  Done.

My sister rocked out our decorations for us.  She is such a creative genius.  I had gathered some random items together: old glass bottles, and glass serving dishes, mini chalkboards, mason jars and tea lights, some ribbon, some antique suitcases, aviation maps and some bits of burlap.  Here is the before picture:


She did some of this: 



And this:
And made everything look exactly how I envisioned it.  I love her!
I will post some of the professional photos of the ceremony and reception soon! 




If you are up for planning a DIY Wedding, I encourage you to go for it!  Our wedding day was so much fun.  Doing it ourselves, we had things exactly the way we wanted them and at a price point that we were comfortable with.

If you are even a little creative and handy in the kitchen a small to medium sized reception is very doable with just a few handy prep cooks and decorators helping out.

This is my team of "prep cooks"!  Love them!!!


 The most important thing to keep in mind is that it is a day you should remember as being fun, not stressful. So, do your advance planning, stay within your budget and your skill-level and have fun planning your wedding!